Solitude

Night owl Alarm bell ringing continuously….

I could hear a sound from a corner of a room, nagging me badly I am trying to search the device and finally, I found a clock piece, trying to switch off the alarm, but it seems to have malfunctioned. Again, and again I could hear “night owl” alarm ringing, now this is kind of creating unrest in me.

Ha!! The next moment I open my eyes out from my dreams realizes that my phone alarm is snoozing. 5:15 AM, Monday morning. 15 minutes got ready with my jogging attire. Ensured I don’t disturb anyone at home. Stepped out.

Whiff of fresh air from the trees inside my community. Kind of cloudy cum sultry Chennai weather. Started my brisk walk with the Carnatic song playlist. Love the voice of Sudha Raghunath, Aruna Sairam, Nithyashree Mahadevan, Unni Krishnan. Carnatic song in the morning rejuvenates me. Something magic when I hear the gamaga and the vibratos. Also, I don’t have definite playlist every day it changes as “Music is the universe” my playlist changes from Arijit to Arman Malik to Telugu hits to Malayalam hits to Pink Floyd to country songs to hard rock to Instrumentals (Don’t assume that I am a pro in music just an amateur)

The target of the day is to hit 6KM/hr (6000 steps). Started my brisk morning walk completely planning the day what needs to be done at the office, a quick reminder on my mom’s medicine list thought on how will the market play that day. As we think more about the day, I could see a slightly older person overtaking me, every few seconds he is moving ahead of me at 10-20 meters ahead. My ego hurts badly for a second, I try to speed up, but my heavier body doesn’t co-operate, slowly my mind voice convinces me… dude let’s focus on our ability. Beyond a point, my ego igniter is not even in my visibility. The timeline between 5:30 and 6:30 I have noticed different people in the apartment doing their dot routines. One elderly person walks inside the “Vinayaga” temple at 5:55 AM daily. At 6 AM I see another elderly person chanting “Hare Krishna Hara Rama” with a mild sound from his “Manjira” instrument. As I walk through the entire periphery of my apartment (5.5 acres) I could witness most of the kitchens are busy with cooker whistle in a rhythm every few minutes, in between I smell a variety of aroma spread from the dishes of various kitchens inside my community. At the finishing lap, I see a gang of apartment neighbors’ hangout in a concrete bench near the kids play area. Just a smile at them waving the hand before I get inside the house for the next morning routine.

At 7:35 AM WhatsApp message from carpool mates “starting from home”, is the first reminder for me to push out of the house. I finish my breakfast, quick firm kiss to my kids who are getting ready for their school. Once I enter my car, google map pops up “50 minutes to the office” as I move out of the apartment corridor I could see various school buses picking up the kids. The bright sunshine from the eastern side of my apartment blinds my visibility which reminds me to wear my coolers. Next few seconds I hit the highway to office. One big signal on the highway which is close to my apartment is a stressful place, every minute delay increases 10 to 15 minutes of my destination time. Even the world's best Artificial Intelligence cannot predict Indian traffic conditions 😊. Reach office at 8:30 to 35 based on the traffic at the toll. Finish the office routine till 6 PM. Again, the carpool gang, head back to home and reach by 7:30 PM. Evenings normally take longer duration than mornings. Which adds few more stress factors of the day. Normally finish the dinner before 8 PM. The next one and half hours spend time with family in between hop various social media platforms before I hit the bed by 9;45 to 10 PM. The same routine continues from Monday to Friday. Weekends move fast, we don’t know how the time flies

The mundane repeats, beyond a point of time you hit kind of emptiness in life, even though you have all materialistic things in plenty but still, you feel very small. When many of our ambitious dream of beginning years of the profession becomes a reality we feel so meaningless as we start achieving it at a certain age. It reminds us of the Panda the Po where he realizes there is no secret recipe, it’s just you. Mostly the bulb in our head starts glowing as we reach our 40’s midlife crisis hits us. Questions like why is this hustle and bustle in this life? What are we trying to achieve in these concrete jungles? Why is that we need to be in a fast-paced world? Why are those people worried about time to market? Series of questions start lingering in our minds. Every person has two masters within them one is the heart the other one is mind. There is always a tussle between the heart and the mind. Every decision that we make in life has a debate between the heart and the mind internally. Finally, the circumstances decide the outcome.

For example, when I see a beautiful flower my heart immediately switches me to become a poet, we become William words worth. Our heart teleport us to the school days to the famous poem Daffodils and the definition of Poetry. “Poetry is the spontaneous overflow of powerful feelings: it takes its origin from emotion recollected in tranquility.” At the same time if my mind dominates then it teleport me to the botany classes and tries to dissect the flower to see the sepals, the pedals, the calyx, the corolla or is the leaves monocot or dicot? I always feel at 20 the mind is powerful and slowly at 40, it switches to the heart. That is the reason why I might have enjoyed the beats and the rhythm of a song in the ’20s and concentrate more on the lyrics and meaning of the same song in the ’40s.

An analogy our life to the heat treatment of the metals, where we heat the metal to various temperature conditions our life also takes us to various extremely stressful conditions. However, during this process how the metal changes its’ mechanical properties like it becomes harder, stronger, and more resistant to impact accordingly we also develop new attributes within us. Finally, in all the heat treatment processes the metals are cooled similarly we need to relieve our stress by cooling ourselves in the form of vacation or travel or sabbaticals.

At times traveling alone in the countryside sitting under a banyan tree, listening to your favorite songs, and watching the beautiful mother nature were the fields are filled with colorful flowers dancing in million give us the best tranquility in our life.

#Life is beautiful

With love

Keestu